Stomphoof’s Shiny Stuff

The orcs and dragonkin of the Blackrock Spire had slowly fallen to the adventurers. Stomphoof and his trusted friends had been making thier way deeper and deeper into the bowels of that foul smelling mountain. They had fallen once, and only once, when they had stopped, and in a pique of bravado, began to mock the home of Nefarion himself, the Blackwing Lair. They stood there, in fact, in a small hallway and made jokes at its expense. They soon found out however that its never a good idea to mock the self styled Lord of Blackrock. Five Blackhand Assasins suddenly appeared in the midst of our hero’s, and in mere moments, the group was reduced to nothing. However they were able to take down three of the orcs, and thankfully Oreet had his soul stored in one of the stones held by Moonbiter. Oreet released himself from the stone, and proceeded the bring the group back from the brink.

After getting rebuffed, Kintari and Inruki spied the remaining assassin patrolling between groups of orcs in a very large chamber. Inruki made some hand signals, and then fired a shot straight into the shoulder of one of the assassins. They howled angry howls, and the two charged the party, hellbent it seemed on thier destruction again. However, this time the group was ready. Vadun, the troll warrior slammed his shield into the face of the first assassin, a female orc, which broke her nose. He smiled at her sweetly and said “That is an improvment my dear.” She howled and began to furiously swing her daggers at him. Meanwhile, Akayuka was facing off with a male orc. Kintari and Inruki began to unload thier bowfire, while the mages and warlocks began to curse and blast the two. Then, Stomphoof himself strode in. Swing his claymore, he cleaved into the first orc, the one Vadun was facing. Between the swing and a shadowbolt, the Orc’s arm was shorn from its body, and fell to the ground twitching. Vadun slammed his dagger into the orcs midsection, while Stomphoof rammed his claymore into the body. Then, without warning, Stomphoof spun around in a whirlwind, striking both the female orc that Vadun was facing, killing it, and slamming his sword into the lower back of the orc that Akayuka was dealing with.

In record time the second orc fell, and the group made thier way into the large room. They could see a rough barricade over on the left side, with some rotten meat around it. Stomphoof wrinkled his snout and said “Ewww stinky! This place is not shiny! Not shiny at all.” Oreet nodded his agreement and picked something out of his toes. Turned out, it was a finger and Oreet almost seemed to have lost his lunch. There were 2 large groups of orcs in this room, and they seemed to ignore each other and everything else. Both stayed away from that barricade at all costs. Stomphoof turned to the group and said “Should I put on my special shinies and help beat these guys up cause there are lots of em!” The group nodded, and Inruki began to point out the targets. Once everyone was in position, the three warriors, Vadun, Akayuka, and Stomphoof, charged into the fray, Stomphoof screamin his patented warcry out loud. “YOU ARE NOT SHINY ENOUGH!”

The two battles were quick, with little effort expended. The three warriors kept thier targets attentions, while the extra orcs were turned into small fluffy sheep. It was fairly simple, the tactic having been practiced thier whole way through the dark interior of the Spire. As Stomphoof was cleaning off his tanking shinies and making sure they sparkled extra good, a huge roar came reverberating through the place. Kintari came running over, having gone off to scout ahead. “Der be a huge…BEAST over der behind dat barrier! It be two headed and looks angry mon!” The group slowly walked over to the barrier and sure enough, there was a gigantic creature. Its two heads looked in two different directions, and drool flowed from its pair of mouths. Huge glistening teeth adorned those mouths, and its eyes shone red with hate. A small orc came running past the group and down the hallway screeching in terror, shouting “The Beast is Free!” Stomphoof glanced back at the rest of the party and grinned. “Beast? Its kinda cute! I wanna call it Twoheadhoof, or maybe Droolhoof cause it drools lots!” The rest of the party groaned.

Slowly the entered the room, and positioned themselves. This time, Stomphoof took his tank shinies out and put them on, and then put his shield in reach and his sword, then hefted his claymore. He figured that at some point this thing would cause trouble. Then, once everyone was ready, Vadun charged the Beast, and the fight was on. The group quickly found out that the Beast was a creature whose very howl would strike fear into your heart. Several times Vadun and Akayuka were run off from its frightening howl, and Stomphoof leapt in with his sword, shouting at the creature, telling it how not shiny it was and how mean and hateful it was. Eventually, the group felled the creature, and a collective sigh of relief was let out as they realized that it would not ever be released upon Azeroth proper. They left the area, and after a short break (which included poor Stomphoof picking gunk and grime out of his hooves), then look out the door, and across the bridge. Beyond, they could hear something, and after some scouting by Kintari they realized they were nearing the final goal….General Drakkisath.

They realized quickly that Stomphoof would have to use his shiny tank stuff again, and so he kept it on, this time using his sword and shield. The shield was special to Stomphoof as he had taken it off the body of a Dreadlord itself, and he loved it because it was unique and VERY shiny. They took position, and Kintari motioned for them to be silent while they explained. “Ok, der are a bunch more of dem orcs round the bend der. I will bring dem here and Stompie and Vadun and Aka can deal wit dem as usual. But watch out cause I might get knocked around….” The group nodded, and they proceeded to bring the guards to meet thier doom. After a few tense moments the first couple of groups had been disposed off and the party crossed the bridge into Drakks Chambers. They could hear the deep breathing and grunting from the Dragonkin General, and the heat in the chamber was almost intolerable. Stomphoof muttered softly “This place is smelly and hot! My fur is curling in my shinies!”
“Yea I agree, my fur is doing the same.” Oreet said. Aka nodded her agreement, and when Stomphoof and Oreet glanced at her quizically, she grinned and said “My hair not my fur…. I don’t HAVE fur.” Stomphoof giggled and then was shushed quickly by Vadun.
“Quiet you three! They might hear you!” Vadun pointed to a group of what appeared to be large sleeping Dragonkin directly north of them. Kintari motioned for the three warriors to get positioned, and then said softly “There is a patrol who is walking around here. It appears the rest are asleep and unaware of our presence. I will bring the patrol back here and hopefully we can kill them quietly enough that we won’t wake the rest.” The group nodded. The patrol turned the corner and saw the group, and charged in as Kintari shot the leader dead in the chest with a perfectly aimed shot.

The battle was fast, as usual, the group working like a perfectly oiled machine. The next two groups went down just as fast and easy, and silent too. The floor soon became red with blood. Then they stood there….staring at the sleeping form of General Drakkisath. The snoring coming from the dragon was intense, and very loud. Stomphoof and Magyar both covered thier ears and almost at the same time said “Holy cow that is loud!”

Akayuka laughed and grinned at Vadun. “Guess we didn’t need to be careful eariler? With all THAT Snoring how COULD they hear us eh?”
Vadun grunted, but said nothing as he pressed the sides of his helmet against his skull. Stomphoof giggled and stared at Drakk. “You would think with all the fire in his belly he would have better sinuses…” This caused the party to laugh, and then Kintari began to go over the battle plan.

“Ok, dis here is what we be doing. First, I am gonna wake up da big boy der. I am gonna lead him away back into dat big room where we fought da beastie. Vadun and Aka will tank dose guards he has that are sleepin on da job too. Focus on one then da other. Stompie, be ready at any time to get thier attention if something happens.” Stomphoof nodded, and then everyone got ready. Buffs were applied, and Kintari notched his bow.

Kintari aimed a shot right at Drakk’s head, and then as he fired, he shouted out, louder then the Dragonkin General’s snoring, the following. “Hey you big ugly snoring thing! Come and get some!” Drakk opened his eye just as an arrow whizzed up and hit his hat. Roaring something in Draconic, Drakk awoke his guards and the three of them began to trundle after Kintari. However, the two guards soon found themselves with an orc and a troll to contend with. Drakk however was too busy staring at Kintari, who continued to shout insults and fire arrows at the General. The two guards found themselves dealing with an enraged group of Horde. Stomphoof screamed out “FOR THE SHINIES!” and charged the one Akayuka was fighting, and began his assualt. They could hear over the goblin communicator Kintari keeping up a running commentary. Just as the second guard feel Kintari shrieked and then went silent. The group stood in the room, and Stomphoof ran up near the door.

It was then he saw Drakk, his hands covered in blood, walking his way back into the chamber the remaining group stood. Drakk stepped into the room and Stomphoof immediatly saw where his gaze fell. Straight on the good Doctor of the Sages, Mellan. Stomphoof immediatly intercepted Drakk and screamed straight into the Dragonlord’s Face “You are not shiny enough you walking pile of filth!” This enraged Drakk, and he cast his most powerful spell directly on poor Stomphoof: Conflagration! Stomphoof ran off screaming as the flames coursed over his fur and body, burning him. However his action had given Vadun enough time to catch Drakk and pull the General away from the group. It took a few moments, and some hefty healing from Oreet and Mellan, but soon Stomphoof was back in the fray. Vadun was taking a beating however, and after a few minutes Drakk got annoyed, and with a growl, set poor Vadun on fire just like he had done to Stomphoof. However, Vadun had been damaged enough that before anyone could stop it, he fell to the ground, nearly dead from the burns on his body. Drakk turned to attack Mellan again, but this time, Akayuka was there to take control. Stomphoof swung his Claymore into the dragonkin again and again.

After a few more moments, it looked like the General was going down. Slowly but surely the party had been able to wear the mighty Drakkisath down. Then, in an instant, Drakk screeched out something in Draconic, and Akayuka was set on fire, and then before she could run, he slammed both his claws into her, and left her bleeding on the floor. Before anyone could react, Drakk began to run straight at Oreet. It was as if he knew the troll priest had been the one keeping everyone alive. Stomphoof thought for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. Then, it happened. The second half of Stomphoof, the angrier, more intelligent half, decided it was time to step in.

Stomphoof grinned, and let out a savage yell of “Hey, Drakkasith, your mother is a giant piece of kodo dung!” and charged straight at Drakk, just as Drakk swung one of his claws, cutting into Oreet. The General turned to face the impudent tauren who had just insulted him, and claw met shield. Stomphoof stared directly into Drakk’s eyes and spit, and growled as the two locked themselves in combat. Every so often Stomphoof would shout another insult, which simply enraged Drakk further, after a few more tense moments, everyone could see that Drakk’s movements became slower. Stomphoof grinned and slammed his sword into Drakk’s midsection, crunching through the armor. Stomphoof smiled grimly into the Dragonlords face, and said “This is why we are shiny, and you are not, you filthy creature. Give my regards to the afterlife!” But as Drakk’s eyes began to dim, he used the last ounce of his strength to spit out something, and before Stomphoof could stop it, he was on fire again, and as Drakk died on the floor of the Spire, Stomphoof ran around like a chicken with his head cut off, the fire burning the skin and flesh and fur of the tauren.

By the time the fire went out, Stomphoof was barely able to stand, and thanks to the efforts of Oreet, he was healed. Stomphoof was a crazy and daring tauren that day, not only saving the life of the Troll Priest Oreet, but standing Toe to Toe with Drakk, and helping the party win the day.